APRIL 17, 1912:
Friends, it’s nearly impossible to imagine that we are still at sea, but we are. Onboard the Carpathia, many are trying to make sense of the madness, and others (like our own Margaret Brown) are working hard to raise funds to help those in need. Carpathia’s passengers have emptied their pocketbooks. Many who survived the disaster have pledged to give, as well. Of course, most of us have nothing left to give. All we owned went down with the ship. Our funds? Most were in the purser’s office. Our possessions? Most were in our staterooms, or below in cargo. So, we will arrive in New York tomorrow with little but the shirts on our backs and the makeshift clothes sewn by women aboard Carpathia.
We have received word that the White Star Line has now hired the cable-laying vessel Mackay-Bennett to search for bodies from the sinking, but she won’t arrive on-site at the vicinity for a couple more days. I do my best not to think of those dear souls who went down with the ship, not to picture them in my mind, but it is difficult. When I close my eyes I still hear their cries. When I open my eyes, I picture that last image in my mind, of Titanic’s stern rising in the air and her bow tipping into the water. I see her lights going out. I feel the swell in the water as the mammoth boat slipped off into the sea, taking so many lives and dreams with her.
Iris is working hard to help raise funds. You would be so proud of her! And Nathan, though grieving his mother’s loss (and the loss of James Carson) has done all he can to care for me and see me through this fever. I am (physically) much better today, thanks to his great care. Perhaps tomorrow, when we arrive in New York, I can find a place to lay my head. Instead of going to the home of my friend’s grandmother, Nathan insists that Iris and I must go with him to his father’s home. He has offered to bring Jessie and little Annie, as well, but their church family will tend to their needs, no doubt.
We shall see. I only know that America is one night’s sleep away, and for that I’m very grateful.