Discover 50 of Jane Austen’s wittiest insults from her novels — timeless barbs filled with wit, irony, and playful satire.
Oh, Jane!
Jane Austen’s novels sparkle with wit, irony, and razor-sharp observations of human folly. I’m convinced this is why so many modern females have fallen in love with her. (Hey, she speaks for a lot of us! And because it sounds so literary, she gets away with it!)
Nowhere is her genius more evident than in the artful barbs and sly remarks that pepper her characters’ conversations. From the haughty disdain of Mr. Darcy to the sly jabs of Emma Woodhouse, Austen’s insults are as entertaining today as they were two centuries ago.
In this post I’ve gathered fifty of her sharpest, most memorable put-downs — proof that no one skewered pride, vanity, or silliness quite like Jane Austen.
What are we waiting for? Let’s learn to insult. . .like Jane!
From Pride and Prejudice
- “You have delighted us long enough.”
- “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me.”
- “I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.”
- “From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country.”
- “I do not have the pleasure of understanding you.”
- “I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love… of a fine, stout, healthy love it may be. But if it is only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.”
- “I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. I send no compliments to your mother.”
- “I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!”
- “What are men to rocks and mountains?”
- “From all I can see, he has no conversation, no style, no taste.”
From Sense and Sensibility
- “If he were ever animated enough to be in love, he would have long outlived it.”
- “Marianne Dashwood was born to be teased.”
- “His temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman.”
- “I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him — that I greatly esteem, that I like him.”
- “Your list of the common extent of accomplishments has too much truth in it. The word is comprehensive.”
- “What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering?”
- “They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it.”
- “I am afraid she has too much sense to be really in love.”
- “He admires her because he does not understand her.”
- “She has great abilities, and no judgment.”
From Emma
- “I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.”
- “Better be without sense than misapply it as you do.”
- “You have been no friend to Harriet Smith.”
- “She will never submit to any thing requiring industry and patience.”
- “A man must have a very good opinion of himself when he asks people to leave their own fireside and encounter such a day as this, for the sake of coming to see him. He must think himself a most agreeable fellow.”
- “Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief.”
- “I would much rather have been merry than wise.”
- “You have made me love you less.”
- “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others.”
- “One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.”
From Mansfield Park
- “A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.”
- “Every moment has its pleasures and its hopes.”
- “Everybody likes to go their own way — to choose their own time and manner of devotion.”
- “If this man had not twelve thousand a year, he would be a very stupid fellow.”
- “Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure.”
- “Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions.”
- “A fondness for reading, properly directed, must be an education in itself.”
- “She had not taste enough to like it for itself. She had not sense enough to know when it was admirable.”
- “I was silly enough to wish for a compliment too.”
- “There is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry.”
From Northanger Abbey
- “A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.”
- “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
- “The dreadful black veil! A mysterious manuscript of many generations back! Your locked chest and your rusty key!”
- “Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant.”
- “She had the comfort of approaching all her acquaintance as an improvement on her first view.”
- “She was in the habit of judging for herself, and liked it.”
- “She had not much beauty, but was as clever as she could be.”
- “You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal.”
- “I will not adopt the ungenerous and impolitic custom so common with married women, of abusing their husbands.”
- “Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.”
Before You Take Your Leave. . .
Thank you so much for stopping by to revel in Jane Austen’s wit and wisdom with me! I hope her timeless words left you grinning (or nodding in agreement) as much as they did me. If you’d like to continue your journey through history, you might enjoy some of my own historical novels:
- Queen of the Waves
- Mismatched in Texas
- Love Finds You in Groom, Texas
- Love Finds You in Daisy, Oklahoma
- Hurricane
And if you’re planning your own Austen-inspired gathering, don’t miss my post on how to host a Jane Austen tea party. These insults are going to come in very handy as your party progresses!
After all, as Miss Austen herself might agree, there is nothing like good company, good words, and a little imagination to make life delightful.
More from Jane Austen
If you enjoyed Austen’s razor-sharp wit, you might also love her gentler side. Be sure to visit my companion post: 50 Life Lessons & Words of Wisdom from Jane Austen — a collection of her most thoughtful, timeless reflections on love, friendship, and character.
About the Author
Janice Thompson is an author, baker, and blogger who delights in telling stories that transport readers to another time and place. With a love for history, romance, and a touch of whimsy, she pens novels that capture both the humor and heart of bygone eras. Much like Jane Austen, she believes life is best lived with equal measures of wit and warmth — and perhaps a slice of cake along the way.
