Want to blow a sale? Here are eight sure-fire things you can say to stop an editor from buying your book:
1.“My brother-in-law says I’m a better writer than John Grisham.”
Oy! Don’t ever tell an editor that you’re a stronger/better writer than any other writer, let alone a famous one. You could very well be stronger than the next guy, but the editor won’t make it past your query letter if you come in the door bragging that you’re better than a multi-published bestseller.
2.“God told me...”
There’s nothing more frightening to an editor (or agent, for that matter) than the writer who claims that his or her book was written by and/or mandated by the Lord. How can a well-meaning editor possibly critique—or reject—a book ‘inspired’ by the Lord, Himself? Perhaps you feel your book was divinely inspired. If so, be very careful how you share those thoughts with an editor.
3.“I sent you an email a couple of days ago but haven’t heard back from you yet.”
Contrary to popular belief, editors are not seated at their desks, waiting for your email to come through. They’re wading through slush piles, searching for that diamond in the rough. The querying process takes time. It could be weeks before you hear back from that editor. Be patient.
4.“Seven other editors are all dying to get their hands on my book, but I want you to have it.”
Imagine the editor’s response to this one: “Really? Then why haven’t you sold the book to one of them, if they’re so interested?” Perhaps your book has generated a bit of interest with another editor or two. It’s okay to mention that, but don’t claim that a bidding war has begun if it hasn’t.
5.“My book is so well written that it won’t require a copy edit.”
Doubtful.
6.“You’ll always be known as the editor who ‘discovered’ me.”
It’s possible the editor might become known as the one who discovered you, but it’s more likely he will become known as the one who ditched you as a result of your arrogance. You’ve got to balance self-assurance with humility as you approach editors. They want strong writers with great story ideas, not puffed-up writers with mediocre stories.
7.“I know you’ve already rejected this book three times, but would you consider looking at it again if I change the title?”
Nope. An editor might be willing to give your book a second glance if you make specific changes that he or she suggested, but those opportunities are rare.
8.“If you don’t publish my book, I’m going to quit. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a writer.”
You might as well plan your funeral now. Speaking those words to an editor will be a death sentence for your career. He/she wants to work with authors who are confident but not cocky, prepared to go the long haul, not ready to hang it up at the first bump in the road.
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